We Are What We Think We Are

“I’m not a fighter," you may think.

“I’m weak.,” your spirit may feel.

But you’re not weak. And you CAN be a fighter…. A great warrior.

Our thoughts are half the battle, they say. I think, our thoughts sometimes, are the WHOLE battle.

We are what we think we are.

If you start thinking you can do something, you are that much closer to doing it.

If you start feeling like you can overcome, you take a step in doing just that.

You just need to believe in yourself.

I believe everyone can become a fighter. Everyone can gain internal strength. Everyone can overcome.

But not everyone will.

The difference between you and that successful, victorious, overcomer over there? They refused to give up or give in. 

They were determined.

They persevered.

They believed.

Don’t you want that for yourself? I know I want that for MYSELF!  

So, start believing. Start paying attention to the battle that wages inside of your mind. 

Start paying attention to what words you let trickle down and plant themselves in your heart.

Rise up.

Overcome.

And become a great warrior.

Which One Are You?

People leave footprints in our lives. On our hearts. Some imprints we let come in and stay - when we shouldn’t.

We need to be very careful about who we open the door to.

Not everyone wants to be our friend. Not everyone is giving us unselfish and loving advice.

Not everyone, is thinking of US.

On the other hand, some of us don’t open the door at all. We don’t even look to see who’s there. We just leave it shut. We’ve already seen what can enter. And we don’t want to go near that again.

Which one are you?

I think we all step towards one - or - the other.

We either have those walls up, or we NEED to put some up.

Broken hearts. Wounded pride. Lack of self esteem. We are all on the road to “somewhere.” How we walk that road, who we let in to walk it along with us, and why we walk one road, compared to another one - they are very telling.  They tell a story of where we’ve been, and how we’ve let that affect us.

Are we victims? Are we survivors? Are we overcomers?

Do we expect the world to come to our door, or do we open it up and walk out into it on our own?

Do we hide behind the door?

Do we fail to shut the door at all? Fail to see we let others run our lives? Our thoughts? Our feelings? 

Are we too careful? Or not careful enough?

Which one are you? Which door is yours? And which road is yours?

No one can dictate your destiny. YOU choose. You choose your attitude. You choose your direction. You choose who walks with you. 

YOU.

So which one are you?

Those Chips On Our Shoulder

Chips.  Those ones that sit on our shoulders. 

There are too many of them.

Not one to ever stir a pot - I see one being stirred anyways.  

It’s being stirred by the person who always thinks that everything bad that happens to them, is because of their race or color. Not because they weren’t a good employee, spouse, or person.

It’s being stirred by the person who feels left out because they are “gender-different”. They don’t consider the fact that maybe the activity simply is meant to be “fun” for a group of guys, or girls, or friends. And that they can start their own.

The pot is being stirred by those who can’t handle any kind of views, beliefs, or thoughts that are different than their own. Especially in government. It doesn’t matter if good is being done. Morality is being restored. Or values being enhanced. If they can’t do what they want - they don’t like it.

Even if it’s illegal.

We can rephrase things. We can twist them. We can protest against them.  But none of that will change what is going on inside of US. 

None of it will change those chips that sit on our shoulders. Chips that have nothing to do with anyone else - not really. They started with our parents. With being bullied. Rejected. Emotionally ridiculed and abused.

And then we let them sit there. For years. Until they embedded themselves so deeply that we found ourselves letting those moments, those people, affect everything we did. Everything we said. And everything we believed about the world, and about ourselves.

Chips.

There are too many of them.

It starts with us. It starts with us getting healthy ABOUT us. 

It starts with us recognizing our character. Do we have any?

It starts with us treating that cancer inside of us that we let grow and grow and grow.

It’s time for healing, don’t you think?

Life IS unfair. And maybe you WERE fired because of your race or your color. But maybe? Maybe you were fired because you didn’t do a good job.

And maybe someone DOES think differently than you. That doesn’t mean they can’t still like you.

We get “off” on stirring the pot, because we’re unhappy. And we feel unloved. It’s time to change that.

And it starts with me. It starts with you.

It starts with getting rid of those chips on our shoulder, that we’ve let sit for far, far too long. 

We Need to Learn to "Accept"

I’ve always been slow to process things. When my girls go shopping with me, and ask me if I like something, I pause. They are quick to think I mean, “no,” and that I don’t like the item. But really, I’m pondering and digesting.  

Then I know what I think.

I’m just built that way.

When someone I love deeply passes away, it takes me many, many months to grieve their loss.

When I get dealt bad news, (like having to wear my splint for 3 months post-jaw surgery, instead of 6 weeks), it can take me many hours to overcome the disappointment.

But the point is, I do come to that point. I do overcome.

I do accept. I just need the right time to come to terms with things.

We all have different timeframes built inside of us - that are the right timeframes for us to come to terms with things. There is no “set” time period that fits all of us.

But for some of us, we can live there in that moment far past the moment of acceptance. We stay in denial, rejection, or fear.  And it holds us back.

You can’t truly be free until you accept something.

For me, it was humbling to have to go out in public and talk weird and slurred with a splint in my mouth. But once I overcame the “humiliation” aspect of it all, it was easier to accept. It was temporary. It was for a greater good. And anyone who loved me, didn’t care. They knew I’d been through a big surgery and was still healing.

Perspective.

Acceptance is about moving forward. It’s about refusing to let something make you “lesser” of a person. It’s about deciding to be strong, instead of weak.

And let’s face it, we have a world full of people who refuse to accept. They refuse to accept a President. Refuse to accept that something was an accident. Refuse to accept someone’s “I’m sorry.”  And they live there. 

And it weakens them.

I know there are things in life that are truly injustices. And there are many battles we should wage and fight for. Moral battles and fights. But most things? Most things are just life. And life is all about ups and downs. Good and bad. 

And we need to accept that.

We can never be the people we truly desire to be, deep down, if we don’t learn to accept the losses in our lives. 

I want that for you. And I want it for me.

So, even if it takes you awhile to process something… like it does for me… process. Then move on. Lift your chin up. And step forward.

Stronger. Wiser. Humbler. 

Better.

Feeling the Sting of Conviction

Not that long ago, I wrote an article that caused some strong responses from people.

It had been awhile, since that has happened to me.

At first, I thought, maybe I was wrong in the thoughts I had expressed. But after further contemplation, I realized it wasn’t that I thought I was wrong in my feelings, but rather, I thought maybe I was rash in expressing them.  

They were, after all, going to be controversial.

It’s so easy to stay in the “safe” zone.

It would have been so easy for me to not express what I was feeling.  Even in doing so, I had tried not to point my finger at anyone, or make anyone feel like I thought I was better than them.  Let’s get that straight right now. I’m not.

But sometimes, I feel very propelled to write on something that God has spoken to my spirit. And I need to have the strength of conviction, to do so, with love, and truth.

Whenever I say something, I realize that everyone has the right to feel or think what they want to. It’s your freedom. It’s mine. But I don’t want to shy away from topics out of fear. I don’t want to be afraid to speak truth. And in this social climate, it’s easier and easier to feel that way.

If God uses something I say to convict someone’s heart - that is a good thing.  But it is not ME doing the convicting. I am merely a messenger.  And in being a messenger, I realize that we all have different battles. What you feel convicted about, I may not struggle with. I may have an entirely different struggle altogether. But we all struggle with something.

Feeling convicted is a good thing. A good thing, indeed. And I fear we have encroached upon a time in life where no one really feels convicted anymore. 

They merely feel offended.

We can never change, without feeling convicted about something in our hearts, or in our life. We can’t become better, wiser, or understand someone else’s perspective, without some sort of conviction humbling our hearts.

Writing a piece that caused some strong words to spill from people, was a good thing for me. It showed me how comfortable I felt staying “safe.” Staying out of controversy. And far from wanting to jump into controversy all of the time, it strengthened my legs, to remind me WHO I write for.  

And why.

I am not right about everything. I have to rethink a lot of things along this journey in life. I change my mind. I consider. I ponder. I ask God for direction.  But one thing I do do, is offer honesty in love.

And if I share something, you can bet it’s from a heart that means well. That wants to make a positive impact on someone’s life.

I will humbly, continue to write about the things that I feel God stirs in my spirit. And I pray, that as you, the reader, read them - that He will in turn, use them for some sort of good in your life. Even if that good, starts with the sting of conviction.