When you look back on your life - what is that ‘thing’ that almost destroyed you?
What is that thing that made you feel like you were crumbling into pieces? That thing that caused you to doubt who you were, why you were, and HOW you were…. As a person and an individual?
What was that big thing in your life - that first stole your confidence?
There is a ‘thing’ for most of us. Something that shattered our ideal expectations of how life is supposed to be.
I remember the ‘thing’ in my life. I remember it very well. I remember how for the first time, I started feeling shaky in my personal identity.
I almost let that ‘thing’ steal it from me completely.
Before that period of time, I didn’t really wonder if I spoke too much. I didn’t question my judgement. I didn’t think that maybe I was “unlikeable.” Afterwards though? Afterwards, I grappled with those questions. And more. Sometimes a lot.
Wars do that to us. Spiritual wars. Emotional wars. And even physical wars in our lives.
They twist and turn, and pull our confidence out and away from us.
And they laugh.
Because in return, we often dwindle. We stop using our gifting. We fail to speak up. We try to fix things in ourselves, to imitate others (when in reality, nothing needed fixing.)
We wither. We struggle. We doubt.
We lose our confidence.
We need to learn to fight back. For me, I barely held on. It was my faith that carried me through. And even then, it took years to slowly rebuild what was stolen from me, for a time. But I did it.
I found my voice again. I regained my sparkle. I renewed my sense of self. And I learned to love me for me. Not thinking I was perfect, but knowing I was and am, uniquely a ‘me’ that is worthy of being liked and loved.
Who we are should be celebrated. It may be a process to learn who you are, and what you want out of life - but that process can be a fun journey.
So journey back to where it all began. With that ‘thing’ that first stole your confidence. Whether it was words that told you you weren’t good enough, or didn’t have ‘it’. Go back and reclaim it. Don’t let someone else decide who you will be.
Chase after yourself. That part of you that was left back in the past on a certain day, and in a certain time. Grab the gift in ‘you’ that was left behind.
Was it your creativity? Your thoughts? Was it your dream? Grab it and run with it to today. Place it inside of your heart again, and relearn how that part of you, was always meant to be part of you.
Regain your confidence. Become aware of who you were meant to be.
Identify all that you are. And love it. Live it.
Say goodbye to the thief that came years ago. Make a choice to never let anyone steal anything from your character ever again.
Win this war.
3 comments:
The thing that first stole my confidence happened 50 years ago. I was 22. I didn't handle it as I should have because I was being influenced by someone who was terribly hurting emotionally. Because of my hearing only one side of the story, I could not forgive the other person involved. It took Ime 25 years to forgive that other person. Looking back on that circumstance, I now know that my growth in the LORD began when I forgave the other person.
I remember my "thing" very well. It not only shattered my self-esteem, it also shattered my life and my faith in God. He stood by me and slowly and painfully helped me to put the slivers back together. There will always be a small part of my heart that is broken but I rely on Him every day.
QUIETSPIRIT - Ironically, I do think it's others who are hurting emotionally, who DO the hurting to us! I'm sorry it took you 25 years to heal and forgive, but you DID. And praise God for that.
SHERRY - It's amazing how we can remember that moment so clearly, isn't it? I'm sorry your 'thing' shattered your life and faith - but admire your courage in putting the slivers back together.
I'm sorry it took me so long to reply - blogger was not notifying me of my comments. Hopefully, it's fixed now! :)
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