Sometimes, Something Needs Changing

There are times in life where we are presented with opportunities to become better people. Maybe something happened and we were really embarrassed that someone found out something about us, or we were quick to defend our actions.  

There are times where we want to slither out quietly from a room and hide, or we have to go into “explain” mode before someone even questions our motives or intent.

Red flags. All of them.

Not one of us is able to go through life without being presented with an opportunity to take a hard look at ourselves. Maybe we have gotten too brazen with our speech, we have become critical, we judge too quickly without knowing facts, we too easily keep our mouths shut when we need to speak up….. the list goes on and on and on.

Actions.

Attitudes.

Accountability.

We can become careless. Sloppy. Unaware that we’ve let a part of ourselves grow into something that we don’t want to be known of us.

Not too long ago, I was attending an event with my husband and daughter.  In front of us was a family with a huge group of adopted or foster kids. I mean, like 10 kids.  They were standing up and down. Going back and forth. Constantly. We hadn’t been there an hour, when I, (who was sitting on the end), was already tired of having to stand up, or scoot to the side, so they could get past me to walk down the stairs. 

It was a real distraction from the event we came to see.

After stifling some heavy-duty sighs on my part, and a face that was showing increasing irritation; one child came by me and climbed over my legs without waiting for me to move.  I turned and exclaimed to my daughter and husband - “They didn’t even wait for me to move that time!” 

My daughter, in hushed tones, said, “Mom, you said that really loudly.” To which, the father in front of us, turned around and addressed us. 

Yep. He’d heard. 

Consider me mortified. 

Horrified. 

I was not trying to be rude. My patience simply wore out. Thankfully, he was gracious about the whole thing. And believe me, he so easily could not have been! He said the kids could go out another way, and he recognized that they had a hard time sitting still.

Regardless, my daughter and husband were still embarrassed. And I was embarrassed. 

It gave me pause. Pause to consider how I could’ve handled the situation differently.

I cannot control other people. And other people will indeed bother me and irritate me from time to time. But what does my attitude, my actions, and my speech say about ME?

That was something for me to think about.

It was a wake-up call for me. A time to look at how I might need to do some work on my own heart, and not let my speech get out of hand. For I’d gone near the edge a few times, and lucked out. This time, I didn’t. Someone heard me. And even though I didn’t say any swear words or anything, it still brought embarrassment to my family… and to myself.

We all have things we can work on. And we all get those “red flags” in our life. Maybe we get it when we realize we’re getting too impatient at the grocery store, in the gas line, or out on the road. Maybe we need to fix something in our hearts and our actions where it concerns our neighbors.  

It happens to all of us. Sometimes, we just need to change ourselves a little bit. Fix and stitch a little “something” that needs fixing and stitching.  

Will you see those moments when they come? Will you love yourself enough to be the best you, you can be?

I hope so.