But I Hurt MORE, Than You!

When my girls were young, they would play dollhouse and Barbies, as most young girls do. I would always feel perplexed when I would hear them play because it always seemed “sad.” I would hear them get into trouble from “mommy,” and one of the more common things, was, I would hear them talk about being sick or injured.  One of them would say, “I broke my leg.” And then the other one would say, “Well, I broke both my legs.” And it would escalate from there.

It was if they had to “outdo” being the one who was injured or sick the most.

We still joke about it to this day in our family.

If one of us says, I got a little sunburned and the other one says, “Well, look at MY sunburn!” Then we respond with, “Well, I broke my leg AND my arm!” It’s an inside joke – reminding us that we don’t have to minimize someone else’s pain or hurt, by showing that we got hurt more.

Isn’t that the way life seems sometimes? It seems like we are a little less sympathetic with other people at times, because we feel like what they are going through is far less, than what we’ve experienced. Or, we have to let them KNOW that we are feeling something far more profound and intense than what they are experiencing!

Why?

Why is it so hard for us to simply say, “I’m sorry you’re going through that?” Or why is it so hard for us to sympathize with someone else, WITHOUT bringing up our thoughts that we are going through something, far more difficult?

Who quantifies “hurt” anyways?

If I can focus on someone else, and not what I’m going through, I often find that it hurts less. I don’t feel as if I’m in as much pain.  I can even get through it quicker.

What we focus on is what is spotlighted in our eyes. So it makes sense that if we focus on our hurts, challenges, ailments, etc., that those will take on a bigger life in our lives.  I’m not saying that they don’t hurt. They do. I’m not saying that they aren’t hard. They are. But sometimes our focus can make them hurt MORE, and our focus can make them HARDER.

It’s perspective.  It’s focus.

We all go through things. We all get hurt, frustrated, and even overlooked. But the goal is to move past those things. And if we want to move past them, we need to shift our focus, our attitude, and our time, onto things that bring more life and healing into our world. That way, we can heal from that “broken leg” a little quicker…. And maybe not even dwell on the fact that we went through something tougher than someone else.

Instead, we can just love and help.