Do You See Goodness In Yourself?

Sometimes, when we have dealt with great hurt and pain, we take it out on ourselves. It’s a way of punishing ourselves. Even if it wasn’t our own mistakes that we dealt with, but the choices of someone else, we can often internalize those hurts – thinking that we aren’t worth much. We somehow end up believing lies about who we are.

Over time, we can even forget where we started. We just become this person of anger, hate, coldness, and meanness.  We become what we believe ourselves to be.

It can be hard to love this kind of person. It can be hard to BE loved, if you are this person.

Life can kind of suck you into a momentum and cycle of pain. Even if you don’t want to be there, you can easily find yourself feeling out of control and at the mercy of the circumstances you’ve found yourself in.

You don’t know who you are anymore. And you don’t like what you see when you look in the mirror.

All it takes is one person. One person to see into you. To tell you that you are loveable. Valuable. GOOD. That they see something in you, that even though it may be tucked deep down inside – it still exists.

And then it just takes you…. To believe them.

Even though we make mistakes in life, even though we’ve compromised and hurt others, there is still good in us. We just have to give it a chance to find its way out.

No one is beyond hope. No one is beyond help. No one is too far gone, that they can’t be loved. That they can’t be redeemed.

I think there is a part of all of us that wants to be good. To be seen as good, honorable, and worthy.  Don’t stop believing in yourself. Don’t stop believing in that “someone” you care about. Look deeper. Harder. Longer. And help them see that there is something priceless and valuable inside that is buried beneath all of the “crud” that lies on top.

Every choice can take us down a different path. And there are so many more choices to made. If you’re still breathing, there is still hope. Still time to change your course.  Still time to develop the goodness that exists in your heart.

You can do it.

I believe.

You Can Wake Up, Feeling Loved For

It was just another Friday, not that long ago.  I woke up, grabbed my phone and was preparing to scroll through Facebook, before I took my daughter to school.

I got that little alert noise at that exact moment. Someone was on periscope. I went to check it out, and it was a lady. She was praying. Praying over us. Praying over us, as writers.

I closed my eyes and let her words pray over me. And it felt so good. It felt so right to start my day that way. I thought, “How wonderful it would be, to wake up every morning, and have someone pray over you!”

I continued on with my morning, and as I was coming home from taking my daughter to school, I was listening to Christian radio. Thinking again, how this just added to the previous prayer in starting my day right. Jeremy Camp was on, singing about the power that we have through God. As if God were reminding me.

Then, it happened. As I was driving, I looked up into the sky, because the sun was coming out. And I saw it.

A cloud – in the shape of a heart. I kid you not.  It was as if God was telling me, “I love you.”

I got tears in my eyes. I grabbed my phone and waited to turn into my neighborhood, so I could pull over and take a picture. It was only about a minute away. I looked up again as I turned into my neighborhood, and that heart cloud was gone.

God placed it there for my eyes alone.  For me. Personally. No one else.  And once I saw it and felt His love, it was gone.

What a different way to start my day! What a PERFECT way to start my day. With HIM.

How often I neglect Him. How often, I start my day with my own thoughts and agenda. No prayer. No Bible Verse. No Christian music. NO GOD.

Oh, what I miss out on!

If only we could all wake up feeling loved for, as I did on that Friday morning. I wish that for all of us.

We NEED Better

We need to DO better.

We need to be better friends. Better parents. Better fighters, for what is moral and right.

We should speak up more. Speak up less. Be wiser. More understanding.

We need to be more discerning. Gentler. More compassionate.

We need to be THERE for one another. Not just in words, but in presence.

We need to strive for excellence in all we do. Go the extra mile. Persevere. Run to win the race in whatever we undertake in life.

We need to think of ourselves less, yet take care of our emotions and feelings, more.

We need to BE better.

We need to have more patience. Slow down. Laugh more.

We need to forgive more readily. Love more freely.

We need to stop taking everything so personally. Let things go. Move on.

We need to yell when things are unfair, and cheer when things are good.

We need to KNOW what is better.

Life is flying by. Slipping through our grasp. People are hurting, dying, and feeling alone. We sooo need to love better.

I want to do better. I want to be better. I want to know what’s better, and love better.

Do you?

Something For the Golfer In Your Family

Tuesday, I was blessed, along with some other San Antonio bloggers, to get to go out to the JW Marriott resort here in San Antonio, and take a peek at their San Antonio Golf Championship going on this week.  I grew up going to the golf course, as my grandpa would play in Senior Tournaments every year. I have fond memories of walking the course, picking up acorns, and when we were really lucky, we got to ride along on the back of my grandpa’s golf cart.

As I got older, my dad took up golfing, along with my other grandpa. So I would occasionally go out to the course and walk alongside them while they played.  All that to say, golf makes me feel happy, because it has a lot of warm memories tied up into it.

The TPC course at the JW Marriott is gorgeous. So many of the golfers love it there because of the good condition of the greens. It’s scenery is pristine, with the view of treetops in so many spots. So whether you are playing, or observing, it’s enjoyable.

The San Antonio Championship by AT&T is for the best players in golf over the age of 50.  One of the highlights of the San Antonio Championship is the Pro-Am. This is where amateur golfers can sign up to play alongside a professional golfer! There are no age restrictions on the Pro-Am, so if you have a little budding golfer and they are 7, or 9, or 16 – they have the opportunity to play alongside a pro.  There is a drawing the night before playtime, where each golf group (4 amateurs to 1 pro) gets to see which pro they will be playing with.  I think this is such a neat idea for golfers to be able to do something they enjoy, plus get up-close-and-personal with a pro.  You don’t have to live in San Antonio to sign up for the Pro-Am. You can live in Florida, Oregon, or anywhere…. And just come into San Antonio for the week of the Championship to play! Of course, you can’t do it this year, but definitely look into signing up for next year!

After the Pro-Am, the 81 champion golfers will play in the Championship from Friday-Monday. They are playing for a purse of $1.8 million!!!

This is the 31^st year of the San Antonio Championship and it couldn’t be held at a more stunning resort than the JW Marriott. In addition to the top-notch facilities, the people there are super friendly, highly personable, and ready to go out of their way to see that your needs are met.

I really enjoyed my time there getting to shuttle around to some of the greens and tees.  I highly recommend taking your loved one, or your family out for some beautiful time outdoors, in a great environment watching some golf and enjoying some of the exhibits and vendors they have set up.  You can also catch the pro’s play in the championship on the Golf Channel if you’re not able to go out and attend personally.

But if you can, go out and spend a little time there this weekend. You can get some exercise, enjoy the beautiful sunshine San Antonio is still having, spend some time with your spouse or kids who are interested in golf, and enjoy the beauty of the outdoors at a luxury resort. It’s surprisingly affordable, and fun!

You just might run into me out there, as well.

Parking: http://attchamp.com/parking-information/

Ticket information: http://attchamp.com/tickets/

Tournament history information: http://attchamp.com/tournament-facts/

**I was treated lunch and given some free items as a blogger, but all opinions, thoughts, and words are solely mine.

When Your Hiding Place Has Become a Home

What battles have you waged in your life? What is it, that makes you feel like your heart and soul are locked in a cage? Do you feel free to be YOU? Do you feel labeled, defined, stuck in a role?

Have you put yourself there?

There are so many things in life that have hurt us. Ever since we were little, we have become broken pieces. Bit by bit.

All of us.

Some of us, allow ourselves to be put back together again. We wear the scars, but we are able to find beauty in the broken parts of our lives. Others of us, we just – stay – broken.

Somehow, we don’t know how to get fixed. We are lost.

We hide behind food and weight. Drugs. Alcohol. Achievement. Success. Perfectionism. Service. A smile, perhaps. But we hide.

We’ve hidden so long, we don’t even know we are hiding anymore. Our hiding place has become home.

Oh, precious soul. There is so much more beauty, joy, and love to be found in your life! You don’t have to hide. Not anymore.

You can be fixed. You can find wholeness. You will have scars – always. But those scars can only prove that you are a survivor. You made it.

You overcame.

“It” didn’t win over you.

You can help others. Those others who struggle with the same things. You can help them find their voice, their joy. Their beauty.

And in doing so – you will find yours.

You will see how your story has made you even more beautiful.

Those tears don’t have to fall forever. They don’t have to fall in private.  Bring them out into the light.

Let yourself be loved. Let yourself heal.

You deserve that. There are people out there, ready to help you. They are reaching for you with open arms. Grab hold and step out of your hiding spot.

You don’t need it anymore.

When You Feel Like You Are Doing the “Loving,” More Than the “Being Loved”

Man, I hate disappointment. I hate it when someone lets me down. I know it will happen from time to time in life, but I still hate it when it’s my turn, or my families’ turn to experience it.

Heartache.  No fun any way you look at it.

Relationships are tricky. Emotions – overwhelming. They sneak up on you at times, and take over.

You can think something wouldn’t bother you – but then it does.

You can think you’d be brave in a certain situation, but then you’re not.

It’s the intricacies of loving and being loved.  Sometimes we feel like we are doing more of the loving, than of the “being loved.”

And boy, does it stink.

I wish I could tell you there is a way around it. I wish that I had some magical words to help you take these moments with stride.

I don’t.

For I haven’t been able to figure out how to take them in stride, myself. Not for me – and certainly not as a wife and mama; when I see my family members disappointed by others.

What I do know, is that sometimes you win some, and sometimes you lose some. Sometimes others bless us, and sometimes they neglect us. It’s a “spin the wheel” kind of thing. And you never know just who it will land on. The more you care for someone, the more it hurts when they are the ones who disappoint.

It can be easy for me to want to bail on someone when they disappoint me. I want to say, “I’m done.” For if they so obviously don’t care as much as I do, why invest the time? And I do believe healthy boundaries should be set in relationships so you don’t set yourself up to be hurt over and over and over again. So you don’t set yourself up to be used.

But, I also believe – no, I KNOW, that I have disappointed others. And I didn’t mean to.  I would never intentionally hurt someone else. So, maybe, I need to give others the same grace that I would like extended to me when I disappoint.

Grace.  And mercy.

I would still like to enjoy “being loved” as much as I enjoy “loving.” I would still like to be blessed, instead of neglected. But I know I can’t go through life accepting one, without the other. That’s not how it works.

So, I continue to love. And I continue to get hurt.

And I continue to live. 


That's the price of love.

What Are They Scared Of?

They try to hide us. The world.

They try to pretend we don’t exist.

They want to shut us up. Put us down. Mock us. Prove we are lunatics. All because of our faith.

What are they scared of?

I think we make them see themselves as they are, as if they are looking in a mirror and seeing underneath their own skin – into their heart and soul, for the first time.

They don’t like what they see.

They don’t like what they think WE see.

But don’t they know, we still love them? HE still loves them?

Don’t they know we don’t mean them harm?

No.

They still do what they can to hurt us. Kill us. Imprison us. Take away our voice.

And yet the WORD lives on. It cannot be quenched. It cannot be killed.

And it never will. For God is the beginning and the end. The first and the last.

Now and forevermore.

And deep down – the world knows it. Maybe that’s why they run so scared.