We Hold a Little Back

I love children. I love the honesty that comes from a child. I love the innocence that is untainted from the world’s hurts. And I love the freedom with which they live. If they want to run, they run. If they want to laugh, they laugh. If they want to cry, they cry. It doesn’t matter who is watching or what someone else will think of them.

They are true to their heart.

I hate that as we grow into adults, we seem to be so guarded with others. We easily put up a shield that we think will protect us from hurts.

When we are in a room full of people, we usually compose ourselves somewhat. Holding a little bit of ourselves back to see if we will be accepted or rejected.

When we have emotions that stir up in front of others, we usually try to stifle them until we are home, alone, and in private. We hold a little bit of our honesty back by not showing our true feelings.

When someone asks us our opinion and we are afraid to hurt their feelings, we hold a little bit back.

It feels wrong. It’s not authentic. It’s not freeing to always be so aware of what we should be saying and how we should be acting.

I want to be true to myself. I want to laugh out of joy, cry out of pain, and say what my heart is feeling. Of course I want to have kindness. I never want to be rude or inconsiderate of someone else. I don’t want to unfairly judge. But I do want to be true to my heart.

I don’t want to hold back a little bit of who I really am. I want people to see me for who God made me to be. I want to be authentic and honest. I want to have integrity and freedom to live life with my character and personality. I don’t want to have to adapt to someone else’s idea of who I should be. I don’t want to have to stifle my God-given gifts or traits because someone else might not like them!

I don’t want to hold back who I am.

Maybe others will like me. Maybe they won’t. Maybe they will accept me. Maybe they won’t. It just can’t matter anymore, because I am who I am. And I want to love who I am. That has to be enough.

I know that my Lord loves me. He finds me precious. I am HIS child. So I want to live like it.

Some risks may not pay off. They may hurt. Just because you’re true to yourself doesn’t mean you won’t get hurt. But it does mean, you will embrace life fully by being fully YOU. You will love life as only you can. You will laugh when you want to laugh and cry when you want to cry. Just as a child. In freedom. The freedom God gave you to be you.

No more holding back. No more being afraid. Shine. Live. For you are special just as you are. And you are accepted just as you are. By the One who made you.