There are people in our lives who just aren’t good for us.
They may love us, they may want the best for us… but they can sometimes not see
past what’s important to themselves.
People don’t often see it, when they are suffocating,
stifling, or hindering us. They don’t realize that they can be controlling.
They don’t mean to hurt us.
But they do. Maybe not so much in words, but in how they relate to us and in the input they give into our lives.
It’s just not in our best interests.
You see; people can color what we want for our own lives –
with THEIR own agenda, thoughts, and wishes. They try to talk us into things,
they try to mold our dreams into how they see the future should go.
It’s not done with malice. But it’s still being done.
We don’t even always see it happening until our emotions are
entangled in the friendship, relationship, or romance.
That’s why having many people who have input into our lives
is important. You should never just
listen to the thoughts and counsel of only one person. Even if that’s one
person you love a whole lot.
You should seek out advice and input in many ways and from many
respected advisors.
If we are in a relationship (whatever kind of relationship
that may be), it’s important to get breaks from that person so you can get your
thoughts into focus. Breathe. Think for yourself and focus. If someone wants to utilize all of your
time and doesn’t want you talking to other people or getting their opinion –
that should be a big red flag. They are trying to control you.
It can be so hard to break away from someone who interjects
all of their time, care, and input into your life. After all, they do care
about you. But it’s not being done in a healthy manner. For a healthy
friendship, relationship, or romance to happen, two people need to be allowed
to have their own opinions, dreams, and wishes. Encouragement should be given
for these to flourish.
Someone who truly
loves you will want the best for your life…. even if that doesn’t include them.
Because they will want you to be the
best you, you can be.
Chances are if you are
in an unhealthy relationship right now, deep down, you know it. But you
don’t want to lose that person.
That’s understandable. But think about your own future. Do you want to
lose yourself? Your dreams? Your ability to freely be the person you know you
can be? Lose other relationships that are important to you?
No one has the right
to control someone else. No one else has the right to tell another person what
they should feel or want for their life. For we all feel and want different
things. We can encourage. We can give hope. We can advise and pray for wisdom.
But we should never tug and pull on someone to do what WE want them to do.
Get some space. Get some fresh air and room to breathe and
think for yourself. You have better instincts than you know. Believe in
yourself and in the direction your heart is telling you to go in.
Do what’s best for
YOU. And let the rest of the chips fall where they may.
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