Because Of Me

I had a doctor appointment one day over a year ago. I was nervous about it and on this particular day, I was stuck waiting for a really long time. So long that a nurse came in and apologized and promised they would be with me shortly.

Isn’t that the way it goes? I sat there, and I thought…why, when I’m so nervous do I have to sit here alone with my thoughts? They were making me crazy. I didn’t want time alone to sift through my own head! I didn’t want to think.

I knew I might be nervous ahead of time for this appointment. So I had copied some Bible verses on fear and put them where I could access them from my phone. I recalled this, leaned over into my purse, and grabbed my phone. I read the verses and found myself calm. I found my thoughts clear.

And I found myself wondering if everything in life truly does have purpose. I mean, how could being delayed at a doctor’s office have purpose?  And then God spoke to my heart. He said, “Because of me.”

Because of me.

He wanted my attention. He wanted me to spend that time with Him. Alone.

Sometimes you just want to hit yourself on the side of the head, don’t you? When you realize something that you think should have been so apparent?

I was delayed that morning so that God could speak to me. So that I could listen. And I could be still with only my Lord.

That time sitting there alone in the room stands out for me. I remember it. It’s not like all the other doctor visits where I sat in a crowded waiting room. No. I remember that morning as one where God shone through in a moment and reached out personally to me to grab my attention.

The wait? It was so worth it.