What Is It In Me, That Needs Fixing?

Some days I just let out a huge sigh. A sigh that has so much weight and meaning behind it yet one that can’t be audibly expressed in words because there are just so many words that can be used.

So I sigh.

I sigh knowing that I need to make some changes inside of me. I sigh wishing that the season I’m in would go away. I sigh. I sigh. I sigh wanting things to be different.

And I sigh knowing that things cannot be different at the moment because God wants them as they are for a reason. One that is often uncomfortable, painful, and lasts much too long in my opinion!

Have you ever felt like you were outside of your body looking back at yourself – how you act, think, look? And when you look back, you see that things should be handled differently – YOU should handle them differently?

It’s tough to see yourself with cracks or fissures that you know need fixing.  Especially when you’re not sure where to begin or how to complete the task. You just know it’s a task that needs to happen.

So you sigh.

Where to begin? Where do you begin to fix yourself? How do you become objective about yourself? Is it your attitude that needs to change? Your outlook? Is it submission and obedience that needs to be given? Pride that needs to be laid down? What is it that needs fixing in order to move forward?

I hate going through lessons in life over and over and over again. I hate missing the point that God wants me to get. I detest having to repeat painful seasons AGAIN. I want to learn and not have to repeat. So I have to look at the fact that maybe it’s something inside of myself that needs fixing. Something needs molding and adjusting in order to step to the next level.

We all have times in life where we see for the first time that maybe we need to repair something within ourselves. That we can’t carry on the way we’ve been carrying on. I think these times (although painful) are blessings. They are pivotal points in our lives that can truly bring about change, hope, and healing.

So the next time that sigh comes – welcome it. Embrace it. Let the sigh carry its full weight and responsibility while bringing you to your knees. For it’s time to patch the broken pieces and cracks that have grown too big and wide in your life. It’s time to be renewed.