I Have To Choose Him Daily

Every time I get irritated with a sales clerk and want to chew her out, I have to choose God’s way or my way.

Every time I want to sleep in on a Sunday instead of going to church, I have a choice to make of whether to choose God or myself.

Every time I’m tempted to flirt with that cute person who is not my spouse? I have a choice to make. God’s way or the world’s way.

You see, I have to choose Him daily. I can’t put Him up on a shelf and only take Him down when I’m in crisis. No. I need Him daily. I have to choose Him in all I do. In every thing I watch, listen to, how I speak, how I spend my time, and my actions.

The longer you are a Christian, I think the harder this gets. For the fire isn’t always raging. Sometimes it’s merely a flicker and you can’t feel the heat. You don’t feel the warmth. Those are the times when the choices are even more critical. When you have to truly rely on your faith and not your feelings.

I have to fight to love God. I have to fight to cling to Him and His ways no matter what the world may say or think.  I have to surrender my own heart at times in order to obey Him. I have to sacrifice my pride. And that’s hard.

I can’t simply state that I love Him. I have to CHOOSE Him. I have to choose Him over and over and over again. That’s real love. That’s real faith.

The Sick Basket

I forgot all about it. My kids are growing up and we don’t use it as much. But when I was going through a closet looking for an umbrella, there it sat on a top shelf.

The “sick” basket.

It was about the only good thing my kids liked about being sick when they were younger.

They used to ask for it.  “Mom, can I have the “sick” basket?

I got the idea from somewhere. I don’t even remember where. But I liked it and it became a hit in our home.

I put together a basket that only came out when the kids were sick. It had little games in it, stickers, a drawing pad, mazes or a coloring book; fun markers, etc. Things that only got to be played with when someone wasn’t feeling very well.

I restocked it from time to time and it was fun to see a sparkle enter a child’s otherwise sad face when they saw something new and fun in there. It brightened their day and it helped them stay down and on a bed or a couch where they could rest and get well.

If you have little ones or even elementary kids – you might give it a try. Find a small basket or even a Tupperware bin and put together a sick basket. Fill it with things that only come out when a tummy is upset or someone is down with a bad cold.

Sometimes a little cheer is the best thing to help someone who doesn’t feel very well and it puts a smile on his or her face.  I know it put one on mine today when I found it hidden in our hall closet.

Feeling Wrapped Up In His Arms

It’s so easy to feel alone.  Frustrations, stresses, and hurts in life can leave you wounded and feeling like no one understands what it’s like to be YOU.

That’s what it can feel like anyways. Satan loves to wrap us up in these feelings of loneliness.

I found a verse in the Bible that wraps me up a different way. Every time I read it, I feel warmth all over me, and a smile crosses my face. I feel God give me a spiritual hug. Every time I read it, the truth of what IS and who God is saturates my heart.

Want to hear it?

It’s Song of Solomon 2:6  It says, “His left hand is under my head, and his right hand embraces me.”

What a verse of love!  Such tenderness and comfort. What special attention is paid to us that we overlook! God places both His hands on us in such love.

We are not alone. We have not been left or abandoned. He cares for us with such strength! Do you feel it? Do you know it? Do you want it?

It’s there for us to grasp. We need only look for it.

Close your eyes.

Tune out all the noise surrounding you. All the chaos. Focus on the Lord. He is right there with you. Putting His left hand underneath your head so that you have someone to lean on and get strength from. Putting his right hand around you to embrace you so that you may be filled up with His love. 

He’s there. For you.

And for me.

Don’t feel alone. Don’t let Satan mess with your heart and head like that. You are not. I am not. God is with us. He’s our Father. Where else would He be but consoling and wrapping us up with His love?

Discouragement Is Part of Becoming a Great Warrior

Why does it often feel like good people suffer so unfairly….so often?  I know people (including myself) who have gone through many trials and adversities. They’ve experienced discouragement, frustration, heartache, and disappointment.  Oftentimes, many of those seemed to have landed at their (and my own) feet unfairly. Unwelcomed.

But as I look back and see things with greater perspective, I see a pattern and a theme develop that sheds light into my heart and eyes on these times and moments. It helps me as I parent my own children and see the heartache and hurt in their own eyes. Heartache that is unfair.

Discouragement and disappointment often come into the lives of innocent and good people merely to make them stronger. For they are special and God has plans for them.

Great warriors stand up for God. They speak out in love and in strength. They become leaders. But what makes them so great isn’t that they are perfect. In fact, it’s that they have held many hurts within their hearts. And it is those very hurts that has made them humble, empathetic, understanding, kind, forgiving, and merciful. It is those very hurts and discouragements that God has used to strengthen their resolve and grow their courage in order to storm the battlefield of life on His behalf.

None of us like to be hurt. We would shun every hard thing in life if we could. But I see now, that those times when it feels like God is stretching us, or remaining silent are the very times that we grow the most. Those times when tears come so easily to our hearts and eyes; are the times that seeds are planted and grown within us that can’t be easily discarded or forgotten. They become scars that we carry with us always. And God loves to use those.

I’m here as a living witness to tell you that if you are going through discouragement, pain, hurt, or frustration – that God wants to use that in your life for His good and His Glory. You are special. And with His strength you can not only withstand whatever disappointment and challenge you are going through, but you can overcome it, turn around and use it.

I promise.

You are being crafted and molded. Every great warrior has to go through training. Bruises, and bloody wounds happen. They are part of being shaped and strengthened. But if you hang in there, you will see that you can become stronger. More valiant. And God can not only use you, but He can bless you.

Discouragement is part of the process. It’s part of becoming a great warrior. Satan may intend it to harm you, but God sees just what you’re capable of and how special you are. And He intends to use it for good.

Plans and Agendas

One of my favorite verses is Proverbs 16:9. It says, “ In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.”

I love it so much because that’s how life is. I have an agenda; an intended course for my life. It often includes my wishes, dreams, and wants for my life. Of course I want to be a blessing to others along the way, but still….it’s mostly about me.

I often don’t trust my own judgment. I don’t want to go down a certain path in life and say that “It must be God’s will” when it certainly wasn’t. So this verse speaks for my heart and truly it says what my heart intends all along…that I don’t want to step outside of God’s will.

I want the Lord to determine my steps in life regardless of my own plans. Of course I’m hoping they will intersect or coincide at some point, but if I’m way off track – I’d rather defer to God’s plans because I know if I pursue my own without His blessing that it will be all wrong.

The thing is… God WILL determine our steps. Whether we ask Him to or not. He loves us and wants what’s best for us. I’d much rather work with Him than against Him along the way! I’d much rather learn the easy way than the hard way about just what it is and where it is that He desires to take me. That being said, remember that God knows your heart. He often will use and direct you to things in which you are gifted at or where your natural personality leans. He just may “tweak” how you get there!

Life is about agendas. We all have them. We all pursue them.

God knows our hearts and He certainly knows our mind and what we are thinking. Give your plans over to Him and seek Him in your quest to fulfill your life’s dreams and longings. Ask Him to direct your steps.

I promise that you can trust Him with the task.



First published on DevotionalChristian.com

I Only Have One Life To Live And It Will Include French Fries

The older I get, the more I realize life isn’t going to get easier for me. 

When I was young, I was stick thin and had super fast metabolism. I could eat a whole bag of chips and not worry about the consequences. Now in my early 40’s, it’s not that way anymore. I’m beginning to understand more and more how that ice cream can sit on my waistline.

I may not be vastly overweight, but I’m not super healthy either. I love salads but just as greatly, I love pizza. And I partake. Often.

Where is that balance of healthy yet relaxed? How can we truly enjoy today without dreading about the consequences of tomorrow?

I’m struggling. I’m struggling to stretch and work out and truly eat better. But in the process, I refuse to quit living. If I focus so much on every bite I put into my mouth, to me, that is just as bad as overeating. It becomes a priority that outweighs common sense.

I want to have low cholesterol. I want to be fit so I don’t have a bunch of health issues. But I also want to enjoy the only life I’ve been given.

So I will eat French fries. And I will eat pizza. But I will eliminate or reduce foods when I can and when I feel I can do so in a productive way for my life that doesn’t rule it. I hardly drink soda anymore and that has been a positive change for me. I want to make more actions steps like that, but feel free to drink a Dr. Pepper once in a great while without feeling guilty about it.

I want to be fit. I want to tone my arms and legs and walk more often. But I also don’t want to be militaristic about it. I’m not going to punish myself if I don’t exercise today. I’ll just try again tomorrow.

I do want to look good. I want to feel good. But I also want to LIVE good. I want my mind and heart to be at ease and at home to say yes or no. Not because they have to but because they choose to – for the love of life and living and having an experience.

I Wrote The Ending In My Head

I think the obstacles, challenges, and hurdles in our life come in waves – in phases. It seems as if they have a rhythm to them. An ebb and a flow.

Sometimes, I think that rhythm is there due to my own actions, inactions, or beliefs.  I’m in a certain rhythm of my own. Whether it’s my pride, stubbornness, or selfishness oftentimes remains to be seen. But something in me needs to be rooted out and sifted. So challenge after challenge comes my way until I get the message; the point.

It seems we have a tough time grasping certain outcomes in life when they turn out differently than we’d planned. We prayed. We felt we did all the right things and yet the answer is decidedly different than what we felt it was supposed to be.

We wrote our own ending and the ending that really came about didn’t match up.

We sit in shock. Disbelief. Anger. Sometimes bitterness. We question, “Why?” and we rant, rave, and feel sorry for ourselves.

All because we didn’t leave God an opening to answer either way. We expected Him to answer OUR way.

Sometimes expectation is good. It’s good to pray with belief. But we also need to be prepared when God chooses to be God and do things His own way. Even if it feels like that’s the complete wrong way to us.

I’ve wrote the ending to my own tales so many times. I can’t even tell you. Very rarely do those endings turn out exactly as I’d written in my heart and head. Sometimes, they turn out better than I’d envisioned. But more often, they are very different. Not always bad, just different.  God has His own way of doing things. The BETTER way.

It’s okay to have agendas for our lives. It’s okay to write dreams and stories of what we want for them in our heads. And it’s even okay to start down those paths. But we need to remember to leave room for God to rewrite those stories into better ones. Every good story has ups, downs, tragedies and triumphs. We need to trust that His agenda for us is better than our own and know that whatever the end result is, it will be beautiful.

If we can leave space for the unplanned and unexpected, we will navigate our lives so much better and truly come out on top. Which is where I believe God wants us anyways.

What If For Today I Didn't Complain?

We have become a society of complainers.  I’m speaking to myself here, too. But I was thinking – what if for one day, I was very intentional about NOT complaining? Would it draw attention to the fact of how often I DO complain on a day-to-day basis?


What if for one day….

…..I didn’t complain about the slow driver, the driver who cut me off, or the bad traffic?

….I didn’t complain about what was not picked up by my children at home?

….I didn’t complain about how much work I had to do around the house?

….I didn’t complain about someone letting me down or disappointing me?

….I didn’t complain about being tired?

….I didn’t complain about how long I had to wait in a line at the store, for my child to get out of school, or for my food at a restaurant?

….I didn’t complain about the government?

….I didn’t complain about the medical bill I got in the mail?

…I didn’t complain about the price of gas?

….I didn’t complain about how much homework my children have?

….I didn’t complain about my weight?

We complain about so much. No wonder we so often feel depressed, “less than,” and “blue!” We do it to ourselves.

What if we were INTENTIONAL about having a heart of gratitude and thanks? Or at least an attitude of contentment knowing that life is unfair. Knowing that we have to have patience. Knowing that there will be people and situations that we will need to take into prayer.

But if we ask God to help us deal with things that come our way and into our life DAILY that rub us the wrong way; He will give us the opportunity to choose a right heart. And it will feel good to know that we COULD have been irritated, grumpy , and complained about things but instead chose to let things go and let God rule the moment.

One day. Try it for just one day. 

And see how it feels.

Each One Of Us

I don’t know about you, but when I’m sitting somewhere waiting for someone or something and I have cars going by in my view….I always think about the people inside of them. Who are they? Where are they going? What are their lives like? Are they happy?

I wonder about God and how He can keep track of all the details in all of our lives. So many details.

It’s amazing to me that so many people can be living so many different lives all at the same time.

And I look at the cars again. I think about the people I come into contact with every day and how clueless I am as to their state of mind. I have no idea what they’ve been through in their lives. I don’t know how their day has been or how people in their life have treated them. I don’t know what is going on inside of their heart.

But God does. And I’m so thankful for that.

Because we can go into the grocery store and be so careless and cavalier about the people whose path we cross. We don’t even see some of them. We’re in our own world. Doing our own thing.

What if we stopped long enough to care about them? Smile at them? Touch them with a gentle hand and let them know they matter? What if we said a prayer for them? What if, we actually took a moment to realize they have a life that matters to them. Details that matter to them. People that matter to them. And just like us, they have bad days, hurt feelings, distracted thoughts, and careless words?

What if.

Our lives aren’t the only lives that matter. We all matter. Each one of us.

Irrelevant

Do we spend our time on irrelevant things. Do we waste away our days doing irrelevant activities?  Do you feel at times, that your life is irrelevant?

I do.

I have.

God always uses these times to show me that something in my life needs to change. Something in my heart.

I’m not wrong, you know. Sometimes our life IS spent doing irrelevant things. Sometimes we are wasting away our days. So many activities abound. But they are meaningless. Irrelevant.

There are so many things that ARE relevant. They usually have to do with relationships. Investing in others. Loving on others. Believing and encouraging others. Spending time with others. Giving to others.

We are relevant. We matter. Every one of us. But our time doesn’t always. It’s just a matter of how we spend it.

Do you need a refocus? A change of course?

Maybe so. Maybe so do we all.

INSPIRED

What inspires you? Is it sitting out in the sunshine where you can look at the green trees blowing in a slight breeze? Are you inspired when you are around others and can partake in fun conversation? Or maybe you are inspired when you create something – be it a garden, a painting, or a wood project?

We are all inspired in different ways. Yet most of us don’t live in environments that inspire us. We allow ourselves to be drug down by duty, responsibility, and drudgery.

Often, our inspiration changes over time, as well. WE change over time. We grow and develop much as a piece of pottery is molded on a wheel. We are molded by the things that happen in our hearts and our lives.  So, often, we need to change things in our lives to re-inspire us. We need to allow ourselves to tap our feet into new waters and try new things.

I believe that most inspired people are joyful people. Loving people. Generous people. They are living in zones that flourish their personalities, characteristics, and personal gifts. And usually, the inspiration that they have in their lives, overflows onto those around them.

I want to be an inspired person. I want to see beauty all around me, whether or not someone else does. I want to be motivated, and find the zest and energy that I know radiates in life.

Don’t you?

Every life can be inspired. Even if you feel the inspiration has left your life, you can find it again. You just have to be willing to step outside of your box a little bit and adapt who you are today. For what inspired you at age 17, may no longer inspire you at age 45. And that’s how it should be. For we were never meant to stay the same.

Today, I'm Going To Focus On "Me"

What can you do for me? Isn’t that the way things feel sometimes? That everybody wants something from you? Whether it’s as a mom who chauffeurs their child around and does everything for them, or it’s as a friend….no relationship is healthy if that person simply uses you to get what they need or want all the time.

It’s so important to get to the point where you realize that for your own emotional well-being, you need to implement boundaries in your life and in your relationships.  You need to learn when to say, “No more.”

I’ve had those moments. Those days. Those times where I’ve realized that I can’t continue to let myself be used by a certain someone.  It’s one thing to give, be generous and love. But it’s another to allow yourself to consistently be taken for granted. It’s not healthy. For you – or for the other person.

In those moments, and on those days, you have to get to the point (as I have) where you say, “Today, I’m going to focus on me, because no one else is.” 

If no one else is thinking of your emotional health – YOU need to.

If no one else is taking care of your physical well-being – YOU need to.

If no one else is being considerate of your time or your efforts – YOU need to. Not to be narcissistic and self-involved…but for sanity, clarity, and renewal.  You can’t let yourself be run down, run over, and then allow yourself to stand up only to go through it all again! That’s not love. On your part or the part of the person who is taking advantage.

It may not be easy to change the rules of a relationship. If a child is used to your giving them things all the time and abandoning your own agenda for theirs – they won’t like it when you decide you’re not at their beck and call of all the time anymore.    The same is true for any other relationship where you feel like your own needs and well being are not only being neglected, but overlooked all together.

In order to help others, we first need to be in a healthy spot ourselves. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually. We also need to maintain that health in all those areas throughout the duration of our relationships. If a current relationship in your life isn’t a two-way street where there is not only take but give as well, then it’s time to put your foot down, and love yourself enough to say ‘no more.’ Things are going to change. It’s time to start saying, “Starting today, I’m going to remember to focus on my own emotional, spiritual, and physical health too.”

It Spreads Like a Virus

Compassion. Sympathy. Tenderness. Empathy. Sensitivity. Kindness.

These are not words that one often hears about in the news. They are not words that seem to be prioritized or emphasized in the media – whether that be on news stations, in movies or televisions shows, or over the radio. Sure, sometimes after a disastrous event they are touched on – but then they are left behind in the dust as politicians are raked over the coals and celebrities are publicly criticized.

God says, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”  Ephesians 4:32

Be kind. Tenderhearted. Forgive. Such a common Bible verse and yet one that seems to be glossed over and “forgotten” so often.

Compassion is important to me. Tenderness often does the most amazing things in relationships. These qualities heal, nurture, and give life.

We live in a world that seems to be getting more cold and bitter by the day. Rudeness is common and people have grown to be experts at protecting their beliefs in a strong-willed, outspoken, abrupt kind of way.

Where is the tenderness? Where is the kindness?

God didn’t ask us to be tender when we felt like it. He did not ask us to be kind only to those who were sweet and loving in return. No, He told us to BE KIND. BE TENDERHEARTED. And FORGIVE. They were commands.

I think attitudes are like viruses. What one person does, seems to “catch” onto every person they run across, on that particular day. If you are mean to someone, suddenly their mood turns sour and they are gruff with another person, who in turn is harsh with another…and so on. So likewise, what would happen if we are tender to someone? Kind? Compassionate? They in turn, will give grace and mercy to another, and that person will cut a break to someone else and so on. Just. Like. A. Virus.

What kind of world do you want to live in? What kind of person do you want to be? Sure, we can’t impact everyone – but we sure can impact quite a few – simply by starting with our own choices, actions, and attitudes with one person. It will spread from there.

Don’t give up. Don’t stop believing.  Let God deal with your hurts and ask Him to help you show others what your heart so longs for as well. Tenderness, forgiveness, and kindness.

*First published on Devotional Christian (May 2011)

Relish In Your "You-Ness"

I used to think I was funny. Well, at least a charmer. Until I married someone whose wit is quicker than you can snap your fingers. Or sneeze. It’s quick, I tell you. And he can charm your bad mood right out of you and then you are laughing really hard and it takes a good 20 min after your laugh-fest to remember why you were mad.

I think there are many things in life like that. Things that you think you are good at, only to find someone out there who is better. Quicker. They do it with more flourish. And then you can feel…..well, boring.

Yes, I think sometimes I might be boring.

I can write. But I can’t write with quick-witted, dry sarcasm. And I can (with God’s help) come up with some posts that I think might motivate someone, but I’m certainly not like some who have a poetic pen with every word that is struck on paper.

I’m just me. I have gifts, but I don’t have THE gift. You know. The one every one raves about.

And it’s okay.

It’s okay.

For I am me. And I like me. I like that my humor is never slanted in a mean way. I like that I can enjoy a good, hearty laugh but that I’m always tender to another’s emotions and feelings. I like that I write like the common person. For I AM common. I am one of you. I am riding the rails, navigating the curves, climbing the mountains, and treading water just like the rest of you.

I’m not extra special – but I’m special.

And so are you.

Someone is looking at you. Looking UP to you. They are relating to you. And you matter. To them. You are needed. By them.

So who cares if you aren’t the flashiest dresser in town or the most beautiful? Who cares if your cupcakes flop when you bake them and you never win at any games?

You are YOU. And we need more “you’s.” We need people who show us that we are not alone. That we aren’t minorities, victims, and the “only one.” We need “you’s.”

So relish in your “you-ness.” Soak up what the world may call boring. For you are relatable. And no one can help another like someone else who has been there.

Sometimes It's Good To Shake Things Up

We are creatures of habit. We get stuck in our routines. We go to the same store, the same bank, eat the same food, watch the same shows, and go to bed at the same time.

It’s no wonder that our lives can get mundane and boring!

I, personally, have found that I can’t be at my own personal best when I get apathetic and routine about my life.  I start getting lazy and I lose a certain vitality for others and living life to its fullest. 

I like changes once in awhile. Depending on the change, I might resist it at first. I am human, after all, and all changes aren’t appealing  to me! But changes do something in my heart and life whether welcomed or not. They add fresh focus.

It’s amazing what a change in routine can do for your life! Something that once felt boring (like going to the store) can suddenly be a little more exciting. Something that lost its luster and joy, can once again look appealing. And you regain some joy in your life.

I think it’s good to shake things up in our lives sometimes. It’s good to realize what you had so that you can be thankful for it when you get it again. It’s good to be forced to do things differently and stretch yourself. It’s good to have to meet new people and form new relationships. It’s all enriching.

We are going to get tossed about in life from time to time. Some of us will embrace it as an adventure and others of us will dig our feet in and be drug the whole way through the process. Either way, we learn, we grow, and we adjust. And we are richer people because of it

Kids Spend Too Much Time With Their Friends

Family time.  Everyone talks about how important it is for a family to eat dinner together at the table.  And I do think that’s important. But more than that, I think it’s a symbol of what’s really important for a family – and for kids. And that is simply spending time together.

Kids need to spend a lot of time with their family. It grounds them. It establishes roots and ingrains a heritage. It bridges generation gaps and it helps everyone stay up on each other and know what’s going on. In short, it keeps a family close.

Kids these days spend a lot of time socializing. They spend a lot of time hanging out with their friends. Especially teens. I would even venture to say that teen hangout time and social time is greater than family time. From what I’ve witnessed.

Teens don’t want to be with their family all the time. They’d much rather go to the movies with friends than show up with mom and dad and see a group of their friends in the next row. They feel left out. Uncool.

I say, sometime’s that’s necessary.

I battle how much time to let my teens have out and about with their friends. How often do I say ‘yes’ and how often do I say ‘no?’ I do want them to have friends! I want them to have memories of fun times at the basketball games and fun sleepovers. But I also don’t want to lose touch with them, with what they are thinking, or with who they are as people. I don’t want them to lose touch with me. And it can happen so quickly. So easily.

I know a lot of teens aren’t home that often. Especially when it comes time to drive and/or they get their own car. But as a parent, we still have a right to insist that our kids be home and around family.  It’s all about balance.

Remember the Waltons? Families like that have kids that grow up to be grounded and well balanced young adults. Families like that stay close all throughout life because they went through life – AS FAMILIES. It wasn’t “us” doing this and “our kids” out doing that. No two separate entities. It was US – the family.

It is one of the main institutions that has been lost today. The family unit. And it shows in the dysfunction of everything around us.

Yes, our kids grow up. Yes, as they mature and show responsibility we need to give them a little more leeway and rope in their life so they can feel that independence in a safe and loving environment before they are out on their own. But they also shouldn’t live a life that is only “them” focused. And if all they do is things THEY want and hang out with friends all the time – how can they ever develop a well-balance attitude that considers and includes those around them? Especially those who love them the most….their family?

Sometimes we have to say ‘no.’ We SHOULD say ‘no.’  Sometimes our kids need to eat dinner at home with us, stay home and wash the car or mow the lawn, clean their room, go to the movies with us, or simply stay home and be with us when nothing at all needs to be done. They belong to us as we belong to them. And the world isn’t “them” centered.

If you want your kids to be involved in your life – you have to insist on it for awhile until they see the importance of it on their own.  They will always want to spend time with their friends, but who do you want to have the most input in their life…..their friends….or you?

Peers can be good but they can also be bad. And kids shouldn’t spend every spare minute learning life from their peers. They should learn it from their family. Share it with their family. Grow in it with their family.  But to do that, they have to spend time with their family first.

One day, hopefully, they will choose you over their friends. Not out of obligation – but because they actually enjoy your company, trust your judgment, and most of all….love you dearly.

Friends will come and go, but a family will always be there. So invest in it. And instill that sense of investment in your kids as well. Before long, you will have built a strong heritage and legacy.

And who wouldn’t benefit from that?