Give It Up

We’re not used to giving things up. Most of us aren’t anyways. We’re used to getting things and acquiring them. Giving away doesn’t come naturally or easily to most of us. If we give away things, we usually end up wanting to replace them at some point. If we give away our time, we seek acknowledgement for what we feel we invested.  But there’s a critical component often missing in our way of thinking. “Giving away” means you give something up. You give up your material things, your time, your need to be thanked, noticed, or appreciated. You give it away. All of it.

I think for most people, they are halted in their tracks at the thought of giving something up and never getting anything back in return for it. It’s sad that they are missing out on blessings with this mentality. True sacrifice brings with it a blessing that can’t be found, bought, or revealed to us in any other way. It’s something you can’t touch without learning how to give up something.

We tend to hold on to things so tightly. Our hands and our hearts clench them with might and force. Yet God asks us to be generous people. Humble. The more we have, the more we should be willing to give.

Where are you at in life right now?  Are you holding onto something with your arms crossed and your heart closed? Are you able to hand over that which is most valuable to you? Whether it’s your personal plans, your monetary possessions, or memories -  are you willing to invest them so that God can turn them into something bigger, brighter, and more eternal? Do you want to make a difference? Do you want to impact other people’s lives?

It’s time to start giving things up. Give up that comfortable cushion you’ve gotten used to sitting on in your life and let God take you and use you. Give up your vision and let God show you His. Learn how to sacrifice. Everything you truly need, you will still have plus more. You will discover the hidden riches of blessing and being blessed in return….all because you were willing to give something up.


*First published February 2011 EverydayChristian.com

Will God Give Us More Than We Can Handle?

Any time someone is going through a really, really hard time, the saying is often uttered from a caring friend or family member’s lips….”God will never give you any more than you can handle.”

I really don’t like that saying. For I don’t believe it.  In fact, I can’t find it in the Bible. I find where God talks about us not being tempted more than we can handle, but not where He talks about us going through a circumstance or situation that is more than we can handle.

I actually believe that He gives us more than we can handle on purpose.

Why else would we need to rely on Him?

I wonder if Queen Esther felt her situation was more than she could handle. She lost her parents at a young age. That would be enough pain to last a whole lifetime. On top of that, she was taken into a palace and expected to give up her purity for a king who may or may not choose her as his wife. But he does. And the fact that he’s not faithful (because he has a harem full of women) well, that dashes a lot of little girl’s dreams of the perfect husband. And then, her people are chosen to be executed. Heartbreak. But there’s more. She is the only one who can possibly save them.

Yah, I’m guessing she might have at least entertained the thought a few times that God had given her more than she could handle.

But we all know why He did that. He wanted to use Esther in a powerful way.

There’s other men and women in the Bible (many, actually) who God gave more than they could handle. Job? Mary? (How would you like the responsibility of raising GOD? And then watching him be executed?) How about Joseph? Daniel?

You see God often gives us (or allows us) to go through things that are MORE than we can handle.

On our own anyways.

He wants us to come to Him. To look to Him. To NEED Him.

He wants to use us. Perfect us. Mold us. Better us!

I don’t know why a certain situation might be happening to you or to me. I may not understand. But I can trust in my God’s heart that He has a reason.

I may hate the pain and the heartache. The loss. And I certainly would rather wish that He lavish His blessings on me. But I still have to trust in His heart that He will equip me with the strength, peace, support, and courage I need to get through whatever it is.

Because He’s God. And what I lack, He more than makes up for.

Especially when it’s more than I can handle

Walking When You Want To Run

I am not a runner. I watch runners and I envy how healthy they must feel when completing a run.  But I don’t have it.  My knees aren’t up to running and I didn’t run early on in life. 

I’m not a runner as far as going through life, either. I tend to like to take my time. Enjoy things. Pace myself. I don’t like running at full speed. It stresses me out and leaves me feeling like I don’t know what just happened. I can’t soak in those moments I want to embrace.

But sometimes in life, I just want to run. I want to get out of whatever situation I’m in. I want to move on.

And God says I need to keep walking.

It can be frustrating. Disheartening. It challenges my stamina.  For I’m like a crockpot. When it boils, it’s ready. So when I’m ready to move onto something else or get out of something, I’M READY!  I feel overcooked if I have to stay longer than I feel is necessary.

Yet, God so often has shown me that whether or not I feel it’s necessary…He does. There are things He still wants to perfect. No, not always me – but sometimes, me.

I love to take walks. It refreshes your heart and mind. It brings fresh air into your lungs and sweet aromas to your nose  (if you are walking outside and not on a treadmill!)  It gives you time to notice things.

Maybe that’s why God doesn’t want us running when we so desperately crave to. He wants us to notice some things. He wants us to take stock of our heart and mind. He wants our trust.

I think of horses and dogs who just want to run and someone is holding them back. I know that feeling so well.  When someone lets go of that animal and he runs with every muscle in his body….that image gives me a new focus.  For the same can be said of us. When God says, “It’s time. That is when we can truly run with everything we’ve got. Run in our new situation, run from our old confinements, run! Run with abandon. Run with energy. Run with passion!

Maybe that’s why we feel held back sometimes. We have to let that passion build, fuel, and grow inside of us so that when it’s time to run, we can run with excellence and strength.

If God is asking you to walk in life right now and your heart just yearns to run, be patient. Trust Him. Build your passion and grow your fuel. Prepare. For soon you will be released to run and it will feel so good.

It's All About Me

We’d all like to think we are kind people. Thoughtful. Generous. We give to charities, we volunteer, and we appreciate other people’s way of living – as long as it works for them.

For most of us, we try to stay out of trouble. We bite our tongue and we don’t get involved in heated debates, discussions, or quarrels.

Yet we still like to blame others for our own problems. We blame the government, the schools, the other guy in traffic – anyone, but ourselves.

I think it’s what’s wrong with society today. WE are what’s wrong.

You see, we struggle with being accountable for our own actions.

Life doesn’t seem to affect us on a personal level until it DOES affect us on a personal level.

We don’t seem to care about a nation’s debt until our taxes are raised.

We feel bad about someone getting killed in the military but it doesn’t pain us until our son, daughter, niece or nephew enlists.

We don’t see the big deal in gun rights until someone breaks into our home, or carjacks us.

It’s all, personal, you see.

We are so focused on US, that not much else seems to get under our skin when we feel our own lives are going smoothly. It doesn’t ruffle us.

But it should.

We were never meant to live just for ourselves. We were meant to come alongside each other, support, encourage, help, and yes – feel.

And we’ve grown cold.

We fail to see how many, many people still suffer after a hurricane, tornado, or earthquake. All we see are the leaders rushing in for the photo opp and then leaving. So we think things are under control We think people are cared for. But they’re not. They’re forgotten.

Until we start caring about what’s right and what’s wrong BEFORE it affects us, we will be living in a society that continues to go down a dangerous path. 

Until we learn to take responsibility for our own choices and endure the consequences that follow, we will always be blaming someone else. And no one will be the better for it.

Until we start learning to prize wisdom, discernment, HONESTY, and humility – we will never have leaders who truly care about our daily needs and worries.

When we live a life that is “all about me” – it ends up destroying everything that is good and pure.

It steals your freedoms. For you no longer work for them, earn them, or appreciate them.

They Will Break Your Heart

When I first became a mom, I knew my heart was irrevocably wrecked the moment I first held my baby. It was all consuming. I’d never felt anything like it.

When they are little and magical – you think nothing will ever change that overwhelming feeling of love you have for them. And when they are toddlers and in the first grades of elementary school, for the most part, you “rock” their world. You are the first person they run to when they are hurt. The one they most want to hold them, and they tell you everything in the world.

Time and growing up change that.

Your child starts running to their room yelling at you in anger because you said “no,” or you caught them doing something they shouldn’t. You don’t become the “favorite” anymore. Instead, your title sometimes is “irritant” or “disciplinarian.” They confide in friends before you.

And it breaks your heart.

But you’ve broken theirs too. All those times you yelled when you didn’t mean to or spanked in anger.  Those words said harshly or in a hurry before you could pile them up and put them back in your mouth. You’ve hurt those precious children.

You’ve broken their heart.

Without meaning to, we hurt those we love the most.  That’s part of love. It knows no bounds. 

Your children will break your heart meaning to, in their most rebellious moments. But they will also break your heart not meaning to. Your heart will be broken when they go off to kindergarten never looking back. It will be broken the night of their first sleepover when they didn’t need to call you.  Your heart will be broken when you know they are hurting, yet don’t want to share it with you, or when they leave home for good.

It goes with the territory.

But you think back to those moments – all the good ones. The time you held them for the first time or they said, “mama” before all other words. When they called you from school to come and get them because they needed you or when you held them after their first break-up.

Do you remember?

Do you remember when they wrote you a note, “Just because?” or when they complimented you in front of their peers?  How they said, “I love you” from down the hall without prompting from you?

Those are the moments. It is why we do what we do. It is love. It is memories. It is heartbreak.

All of it. Wrapped in one big package. One doesn’t come without the other.

And I wouldn’t change a second. All the heartbreak, heartache, tears, and hurt are worth it. THEY are worth it. For I am investing in another life.

Forever.

Build Him Up

Do you know that the average man has never had anyone believe in him?

They feel a great deal of pressure to be a success, take care of their family, be involved in their children’s lives, etc.  But these expectations usually come with demands not reassurances.

Just like us – our men can feel overwhelmed at times and are very afraid to let us down; or to fail – not only us, but also themselves.

Lift up your husband.  Encourage him especially when he is feeling “low” or having a weak moment.  Pray for him and believe in the possibilities.  Your husband will feel your belief and that will impact him in a powerful way.

It may not always be easy but even if your husband is having a weak moment, or is “low”; your belief in him may be the only thing that pulls him out of a destructive cycle.

You know what it feels like to have people expect things from you and to feel overwhelmed. So treat him gently… and build him up.

Insecure

I hate those moments in life where insecurity creeps into my heart and life. I look back on them and wish I’d felt differently – acted differently. I see how things could have been, would have been just fine if I’d simply embraced who and where I was in that moment.

I do hate insecurity.

Insecurity can make you feel unloveable when you really are very loved. It can make you feel ugly when you are attractive and it can make you feel unqualified when you have a unique gift. In short, it robs us of our confidence. It steals our belief in ourselves.

I know that I have special callings, qualities, and gifts. Yet I can get impatient and then compare myself to someone else. I look away from my own path and I look at someone else’s. All of a sudden, I’m feeling doubtful, frustrated, and inept.  Have you been there too?

I’m learning as I get older that the more comfortable I am with myself, the more comfortable others are with me, as well. Confidence often comes from learning from our hurts, failures, and missteps. It also comes from realizing the good things about ourselves and learning to relish and enjoy those things.

Everyone gets insecure at some point in their lives. I’ve never met anyone who hasn’t felt that feeling of inferiority.  I think it comes more often when you are young, when you feel lonely, and when you are seeking approval from others. Knowing that, it helps you to fight against it by developing good friends who love you for who you are and finding approval from God first and foremost.

As for being young, you can only grow up so fast. But you can realize that seasons of your life will not last forever.  You can sidestep many catastrophes by learning to not care so much what others think of you. It’s crazy how people can sense when someone cares very much what they think. It gives them an elevated sense of power in your life. If they realize you are confident and comfortable with who you are, oftentimes they move on to pick on someone else.

That really is the key, isn’t it? Learning to be comfortable with who we are. Wherever God has placed us. There is joy to be found. Blessings to be had. And strength to be gained.

You are valuable. You have gifts. There is beauty to be found where you are and there is beauty to be found in WHO you are. 

Don’t let insecurity win one more moment of your heart.

Waiting For "Perfect"

We know when we dream, that there will never be a “perfect” time for our dreams to come true. Yet, we still seem to wait for it.  We know that not everything will be aligned as we think it should be, yet we still expect it to happen.

So we wait.

We wait for that “tomorrow” that may really be “today.”

We think. We dream. We plan. And then we chart and graph, and plan some more. We try to get everything set up all just right.

But we forgot one thing.

God loves to work in the unplanned. The uncharted and ungraphed. He loves to swoop in and knock us off our feet – just so we feel loved and blessed.

And yet, still….we wait for perfect. And in the process of what we think is us using great wisdom and great planning – we leave little room for our faith. We leave little room for God, because we have it all figured out. We know just how it’s supposed to go.

That’s why we often get flustered when it doesn’t ever seem to work out that way. And we wonder, why? We think we did everything right. We planned. We charted. We graphed. Everything seemed perfect.

Except we forgot God in our equation. We left Him out of it all together. We didn’t exercise our faith at all. Left no room for it to work either.

So what we THOUGHT was perfect? Was far from it.

The only “perfect” scenario when we dream and wish and plan? Is leaving room for God to work.

Gasp! They Sinned??

Sin. It’s an ugly word. It’s often uttered in hushed tones and gossiped from ear to ear.

“Did you hear about so-and so?”

In christian circles, we often like to use “veiled” words also. We don’t spell out what happened. We politely coin words and suggest something improper happened but we like to leave dignity to the offender.

And that’s okay. Accept that even christians gossip and spread rumors. And most of us have a very strong need to know the truth. The REAL story. So what is offered up as a way to quench any uproars from people, often spurs private conversations galore.

Everyone talks about “it.”

Let me just throw this out there. We ALL sin. Just because we love the Lord and may serve in a position of leadership doesn’t mean we don’t have weaknesses or areas of temptation. In fact, if we find ourselves in these roles, Satan may go out for us with even more fervor. He likes to ruin reputations, you see. Steal joy. Damage trust. Topple thriving, growing families and ministries. It’s his specialty.

I hate sin. Just because I know we all sin at times, doesn’t mean I don’t hate it. I hate it with a passion. I’ve seen how it tears apart, breaks, and cripples people. I’ve felt the hurt and shed the tears – as have many of us.

The thing is – how do we handle sin when it is revealed to us? If we find out one among us is pregnant, struggles with pornography, had an affair, stole, killed someone – how do we deal with our brother and sister in the Lord? Do we continue to whisper about them behind their back? Do we withdraw our love from them?

Most times, from what I’ve seen, is that we act as if suddenly someone that we admired is now flawed. When in reality, they always were flawed.

We don’t see everything in someone’s life. We don’t see them on the computer. We don’t always see how they treat their wife and kids. We aren’t always with kids when they go out for the weekend.

Whether or not we love the Lord isn’t the question. It’s whether or not we can call on God to give us the strength to do the right thing in a tempting situation.

I don’t want to turn my back on someone who is willing to try and “right” their wrongs. I don’t want to stop loving someone who I KNOW, is trying to get their heart and life right. And I don’t want to condemn or criticize – but I know that’s so easy to do.

I am imperfect. We are all imperfect. And we are not immune to satan’s attacks however he chooses to aim them at us. Alcohol, drugs, sex, abuse --- they exist and they are powerful.

Grace given. That’s what God did for me. And that’s what I need to do for someone else. It may not be easy. It may take a lot of prayer to get to….but we all make mistakes.

May we hold one another up when we do….instead of tearing each other down.

Struggling To Save the Me That God Created

Do you feel “lost?” Do you feel like you just might be swallowed whole by others in your life?

I think there are times in life where we feel these feelings and they are big warning signs. They are red flags waving fiercely in the sky that something is not quite right in our lives.

We should NEVER feel like anyone might consume us or swallow us up, if we allowed them to! There is no freedom in being uniquely ourselves in those confines of a relationship. None, whatsoever.

We need to be around people who help us flourish. People who encourage us and love us for who we are. Yes, those same people might occasionally need to give us a dose of honesty that stings – but they do it out of love. All in all – they are good for us.

If we find ourselves in a different scene altogether, then it’s time to figure out an escape plan.  Sometimes you just need to do what you need to do so that you don’t get completely swallowed up and lost by others. And don’t get me wrong. “Others” can take a giving heart, a loving heart, a willing heart….and totally eat it up. They can and will consume you if they are allowed to!

You deserve to be in a setting where you can be the “you” that God created. You need to be able to breathe freely and know that you will be loved regardless of the mistakes and flaws in your life.  And exercising your own mind, instead of simply following someone else’s agenda or dreams is a good place to start. 

Think for yourself.  Know your own mind and your own heart. Know what YOU want out of your life and what you are good at. Say “no” at times. Say “yes” at times! Follow your natural passions, bents, wishes, and dreams. Go against the grain, if you have to. But be YOU.

No one has the right to take up their own space and ours as well.  So often, we let them because we think we will have a better friend or be liked more. But it’s not true. And if it is, it’s only temporary until they no longer have a use for us.

We’ve allowed ourselves to be used too much.

Start fighting for yourself again. Fight for YOUR life and YOUR calling. For you do have one, you know! You have a purpose that is distinct and personal. 

Set out to find it and fulfill it – and don’t let anyone else swallow you up.

I Bet Your Kids Are Being Sneaky

I feel like I’m pretty “with it” as far as technological trends go. I have a smart phone, I’m on facebook, twitter and many other social apps. I try to stay with the trends and know about them. Often times, I’m on some media platforms before my kids.

But it’s getting harder and harder to keep up.

The freedoms our kids have, and the access to those freedoms is amazing. We can set boundaries, implement rules, and think we are on top of things – but still, there are new avenues and freedoms becoming available to them all of the time.

For instance. You can check your child’s phone. But do you know they can text from their ipod? There are many texting apps they can get.

You can check the photos on their phone or ipod. But do you know about snapchat? It’s an app that lets them send photos that someone can only see for a max of 12 seconds. (Even though someone can take a screenshot in those 12 seconds of that photo.)

You can be their friends on facebook and have access to their password and profile page. But do you know many teens are now getting on twitter to have conversations?

This is the world we live in. It’s not going away anytime soon. You have to be on top of things and even being on top of things doesn’t mean you can protect your child from everything.

Most kids aren’t trying to get into trouble. They just don’t want mom and dad to see them talking about that boy, or the drama they have at times with their friends. It’s not always something indecent or inappropriate that they are trying to hide from you. Although it could be.

We can’t check on everything. It’s impossible. For once you think you have something regulated, another new option comes up that hasn’t been discussed.

So what’s a mom or dad to do? How can you possibly protect your kids?

I still firmly believe in guidelines, rules, and boundaries. But since you can’t think of every app that’s going to come up and can only address those when made aware of them – the best thing to do is to go after your child’s heart. Make them WANT to clue you in on what they are using.  Give them the tools to know how to implement their own boundaries and guidelines and to listen to that inner voice that tells them, “this probably isn’t a good idea without supervision.” 

Hopefully we can have a relationship with our kids, that is strong. We can give them wisdom, discernment and integrity so that we won’t have to worry so much about what they are doing, and where. We will trust that they have good instincts.

All our kids want is to be like their peers. And to have freedom. What every kid has always wanted. But they don’t realize just HOW much freedom they have these days because they were born into it. This is all they know.

All these technological advances are a load of fun. I’ll admit. I have a blast with some of the new things created. But they are also aimed right at our kids and encouraging them to be sneaky and to live in a world that mom or dad isn’t a part of. Be a part of it. Participate.  Know what it’s all about. Talk. Love. And pray.

Why I Love Warm Weather

I love warm weather. I’m a summer girl. The sunshine does something for my heart, my soul….my attitude and outlook.

I really struggle in the wintertime. I probably wouldn’t have such a hard time if I lived in Hawaii, the Caribbean, or Phoenix. But where I am it gets bitterly cold.

I decided to compile a list of all the reasons why I love warm weather.

*The sunshine! I’ve lived where there were consistent cloudy and rainy days and it’s so gloomy. It really affects your attitude and you find yourself depressed more often. The sunshine (as proven) raises the right chemicals inside of you to make you happier, bouncier, and ready to take on the world a little bit better.

*Summer clothes are cheaper.  Let’s face it, sweaters are expensive! And then half the time they get lint balls on them that take countless hours to remove or the sweater looks ruined from the wash. Tshirts and little cute, bouncy rayon shirts are so much more inexpensive!

*I can show off my jewelry.  I rarely wear bracelets in the winter because my long sleeves hide them. In the summertime, you can wear fun bracelets, anklets, and even toe rings with some cute sandals.

*You don’t freeze while loading groceries in your car. Or while running in and out of stores in general. Or while pumping your gas. It’s just miserable to stand out in the chilly wind, rain, or snow.

*You don’t have to worry about the roads. Black ice. Fog. Snow. These are things that you don’t have to fret about when the warm weather comes in. The roads are nice and dry and if you leave the road, it’s your own fault – you can’t blame it on the weather.

*It’s prettier! Wintertime where I live is dead and brown. No leaves on the trees. No green grass. No blooming flowers. Warm weather brings out life and beauty.

*Lower electrical/gas bill. Yes, you might have a bill for running your air conditioner. But at least you can open the windows in the morning or evening to cool your home off a little bit – thus saving some money. In the winter, you can’t do that. You want everything sealed up. And just opening the door once brings in a flood of cold air that cools down the hours it spent to warm the place up.

*People are out and about more. I love watching people take walks in the neighborhood. Jog. Play with their kids. Talk to each other. In the cold weather, everyone hibernates or does it indoors. It seems warm weather just brings more LIFE to life.

*It’s easier to eat well. I have a harder time eating healthy in the cold of winter. Who wants to eat cold fruit or veggies when you’re cold? They are so much more inviting when you are warm!  More fruit is in season as well, which makes it fun to mix things up and get a variety of healthy fruits in your diet.

*I am motivated to move my body more. It’s hard to walk or exercise when you are cold. And there aren’t as many cold weather activities (unless you like skiing or snowboarding) as there are warm weather activities. The warm weather invites you to take a walk, play some volleyball, throw the Frisbee, work in the garden, ride a bike, or just move and do more projects around the house. You aren’t as likely to hibernate and curl up in a ball. Especially with it being light out later.

*Palm trees. Suntans. The smell of freshly cut grass. The sound of sprinklers. Ice cream trucks. A fresh breeze through an open window. A warm summer thunderstorm. Barbecues. Porch swings. Drive In Movies (if you can still find them around.)

I rest my case. For me, warm weather rules.  Just for those of you who like the cooler weather, I will say that I realize it’s not perfect. Especially if you live somewhere where there is high humidity, lots of bugs, and not much relief in the evenings. But overall, I do think warm weather is just about perfect for this bod of mine.

Someday – someday, I will once again live where the sun is king.

When It Feels Like The World Wants My Blood

One Night With a King is one of my very favorite movies. I have a lot of favorite movies – but this one is up near the top. It is the story of Queen Esther and how her courage saved the Jewish people from annihilation.

There is a point near the end of the movie where she has to summon up the courage to tell her husband (King Xerxes) that he issued an order to kill her people – and that that order also meant she was to be killed.  She had to do this in front of the very man who talked him into it because of his hatred for the Jews. Up until this time, Esther had concealed her heritage and it was not known that she was a Jew.

With great passion she says, “he wanted their blood. MY blood!” 

That is how I feel on some days.

I am a woman. So that brings up a lot of safety issues. In a world that is increasingly sexually deviant, I have to be very safety conscious. I have two daughters that I have to worry about as well.

Then, I am an American. I can’t simply travel anywhere anymore just being an American woman. I have to worry about someone wanting to harm me not just because I’m a woman…but also because I’m an AMERICAN woman. They hate me simply because I’m American.

And to top that off, I’m a Christian. I’m a female, American Christian. 

Society isn’t too kind towards Christians these days. They deem us “intolerant” when really; they are intolerant of us. Any trace of what we believe, is being rubbed out, obliterated, and erased as quickly as possible from society.

Yes, some days it feels like the world wants my blood.  Simply because of who I am and what I believe.

I haven’t done any crime. I haven’t hurt anyone. I just exist. And for that, there is a mark out for my life.

If you think I’m being extreme, think again.  Saeed Abedini is sitting in an Iranian prison being beaten, tortured, and denied medical treatment even though he is suffering internal bleeding and his kidneys are failing. He is American. He is a Christian. And he has done no crime. He is going through all of this simply because of who He is and what He believes. They wanted his blood, and they are currently getting it.

There are men and women all over the world like Saeed, who are sitting in prisons and labor camps simply because of what they believe.

I think we forget that this life is a battle. We forget what forces are at play and we go about our business ignoring the injustices in society because they don’t “affect me.” At least that’s what we tell ourselves.  But we are wrong. They do. The more morality deteriorates, the quicker the world will think what was once good is now bad. And that includes people with morals and values like me.

I am seen as the enemy because I speak truth. I believe truth.

And just as Queen Esther begged for King Xerxes to spare her people and save her blood, I, too, beg for it. I beg for people to not allow the world to unfairly treat Christians simply because of their faith. I beg for every nationality to not hate another simply because of their race.

Blood isn’t something cheaply given.

It’s good to remember that every time blood is shed, there WILL be a price.  Some day.

Every life matters. Every life has value.

Let’s stop seeking each other’s blood and instead start fighting for it.