Aging is a funny thing. You notice things changing with yourself and you wonder how
it happened. You find yourself
unable to swiftly do what you used to do. Your eyesight isn’t as strong.
Muscles not as strong. You simply
look at food and gain a few pounds because your metabolism has changed.
It’s part of life.
But the thing I’ve found is – that inside? Inside, I still
feel like I’m 18.
My mind still feels clear. I still dream. I still get excited like a schoolgirl over certain things. I still want romance. I still notice attractiveness. I still have ideas. I still hurt.
My mind still feels clear. I still dream. I still get excited like a schoolgirl over certain things. I still want romance. I still notice attractiveness. I still have ideas. I still hurt.
No – I’m not dead.
I’m just…..older.
An older me who finds it shocking that only older men find
me attractive anymore. Oh yah – wait. I AM older!
An older me who enjoys hanging out with her kids friends –
only to realize they may not want the “parental figure” always around. I AM the
parental figure.
An older me who still wants to dress trendy but is stuck
somewhere between super short junior shorts and flowery oversized missy tops.
Somewhere in between.
That’s where I am.
Even though inside – I still feel 18. I still wonder if I have what it takes. I still don’t always know the right thing to do even though my age and experience should tell me I do. I still make plenty of mistakes. I still want someone to hold me tight and tell me everything will be all right.
Even though inside – I still feel 18. I still wonder if I have what it takes. I still don’t always know the right thing to do even though my age and experience should tell me I do. I still make plenty of mistakes. I still want someone to hold me tight and tell me everything will be all right.
And I think. I think of all the “beloveds” in nursing and
retirement homes. Their bodies may feel old. But inside, inside, do they still
feel 18 too? Are they still wishing they could take on the world? Do they still long to be accepted?
I’m guessing that never changes.
Age. Age is just a number. But the heart and mind? Those
are timeless.
Its crazy some days I feel 17 others i feel 70 ha ha.
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