I Don't Know What I Am Doing

I know a few things in life.

I know what I believe, what I value, and who I love. I know the kind of person I want to be and the character qualities and fruits of the spirit that I want my life to be about.

Everything else? Well, I kind of just feel my way.

I don’t really know what my next move in life will be. I don’t always know if I’m making the right decision.

Sometimes I tell my children no when I should say yes and I say yes when I should say no. And sometimes I feel guilty for things that I shouldn’t. And I don’t feel convicted over things my heart should be tendered towards.

But I submit before God daily. I analyze my heart constantly. I raise my children with the hope and intention that they too, will value integrity, honesty, love, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self control.

All I do hinges on values, morals, and character. Who I am, who I invite to be a big part of my life, and where I spend my time. What I read, what I listen to and watch; my goals.

All the rest is quicksand for me. I just do my best at cooking. I try to eat healthier and healthier each year. I clean because I have to.

I don’t know the best way to do those things. I’m not gifted in many areas. And I can’t predict the future. 

I don’t know what I am doing. I’m just “doing” the best I can. Each day. Each moment.  And I’m hoping that as long as I have God’s character in me and I value the morals and traits that I know He has asked of me – that somehow everything will fall together as it should.

For the only things I truly know how to do – are to embrace those qualities in my heart and life.